CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (NEW CONCEPTS)

[Mick Harper]

I just had a phone call from someone I normally communicate with via Zoom. I realised how much worse sound-only is compared to the sound and vision of Zooms.

I am now determined to try out a new medium everyone's talking about: face to face with both of you physically present. It's a scary thought but everything has to be tried at least once.

[Mick Harper]

Talking of algorithms and teetotalism, Tesco sent me four offers in their weekly come-and-get-it:

* One was for The Wine of the Week (£6, Wiley)
* Eighteen cans of Fosters for a tenner (no thanks, cobbers, I can drink my own piss)
* 25% off F & F womenswear (you can F & F, my transvestite days are well over)
* Cadbury's Fingers at 'better than half price' (go on then, I don't want to be too negative).

[Mick Harper]

Despite everyone accusing them of being money-grubbers, British supermarkets operate on profit margins of one to two per cent of turnover.

Or do they? I just did my weekly Tesco shop and the bill came to £65.50. However, when I fed in my Tesco Card this magically fell to £49.39. How is this possible? I wasn't particularly aware of buying stuff marked with a yellow sticker announcing they were a special buy for Tesco Card holders, so the mark-up for non-yellow stickered items must be stupendous.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

How do they manage to make the top half of a family-sized bag of Bombay Mix perfect and the bottom half all broken up into barely edible shards? I can see the basic marketing idea:

* Dad buys family-sized bag of Bombay Mix
* Dad decides to have a few on the drive home
* Dad reaches the bottom half
* Dad thinks he can't possibly inflict this rubbish on his family
* Dad sits in layby to eat them himself
* Dad returns to shop for another bag
* Dad finds himself trapped in an endless behavioural loop.

But that doesn't make it right.

[Mick Harper]

Rolling Stock Quiz Question