The Tom Sawyer Principle (Politics)

[Mick Harper]

When I were nobbut the station master at Ladbroke Grove, one of my most treasured possessions was a pass that allowed me to travel by train anywhere in Britain for free. The privilege was closely guarded. To such a point, the whole scheme was scaled down after I left. Though not, as far as I'm aware, because I left. Now, it is more selective but still closely guarded. Up to a point, Lord Hendy.

Some hundred and sixty drivers employed in the nuclear freight industry are allowed free travel if they are required to pick up a train from some distant depot. Blimey, I should think so. Nothing's too good for people on such a delicate task, requiring individuals of the utmost rectitude.

What they used to do is go willy-nilly haring about the country on personal trips bearing fake rosters that showed they were required to take out such and such a train from such and such a depot. I say 'used to' because they've been rumbled.

Though not before, as British Transport Police enquiries discovered, they'd been doing it since 1996, and that 95% of all the free journeys ought to have been bought and paid for, just like you and me have to. Will the scallywags have to make restitution? Will they be prosecuted? No chance, they're members of ASLEF.

But they'll be on their final warning.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

Back to the free train pass for a mo. I don't know the precise history but here goes.

* I could understand that I might get a free pass for the London Underground. It was part of my job to move around it on occasion. Plus it's a reasonable perk.

* But what's a reasonable company perk? If you're a booking clerk at Willesden Junction, should that mean you can take your family on a freebie to Scotland on the grounds that the the West Coast Mainline includes both Willesden Junction and Glasgow Central?

* There's never been a link between London Transport and any of the railway companies, so how come we could use each other's systems to our hearts' content?

* But there was a link of sorts from 1948 onwards when they both came under the Ministry of Transport, so I'm pretty sure the railway unions negotiated the free universal pass. The government always prizes industrial harmony over profit, so this wouldn't be difficult.

* But I'm equally sure that when the railways were privatised in the 1990's, the owners blanched at their invaluable primetime intercity seats being occupied by, literally, hundreds of thousands of joyriders. So they somehow called a halt.

* What happens now that everything has been re-united under the Ministry of Transport is anyone's guess. Over to you, Andy. (Sponsored by both railway unions in his time.)

[Mick Harper]

One of my cures for the non-development of Third World countries is, alongside all the other stuff they acquire from the First World, to buy in government. It seems a no-brainer to me but would be rejected with contempt as racism -- by both sides -- if any panjandrum ever proposed it. If they ever thought of it.

An interesting mini-example of this happening took place recently in Malawi. A young South Korean was football world-trekking and found himself on an island in Lake Malawi watching a third-tier side of semi-professionals (whatever that means in Malawi).

Hearing the club might have to go out of business for want of the equivalent of £300, he offered to pay it himself. This was accepted with such enthusiasm he asked them whether they would mind if he took over the running of the club entirely. This was equally enthused.

After that it was a simple matter of brusque Korean sorting out, like offering merch to fans. Wow, whodathunk it? Then getting the Korean press interested in this quirky story and the endorsements soon started rolling in. Well, trickling in sufficiently to send Malawi coaches for short trips to Korea to be... er... coached and already they're knocking on promotion to the second tier.

Though I don't think the Second World exists any more.

[Mick Harper]

You can take any view you like about the efficacy of diversity programmes -- I believe them to be pernicious -- but one thing that can't be argued is that white people cannot bring them to an end. This is for two reasons

1. All the usual ones about guilt, sops, sloth etc
2. Blacks would rise up in protest in no uncertain fashion.

Only blacks can bring diversity programmes to an end. There is some prospect of this -- they must know the truth well enough. Except only 'black spokespersons' are ever listened to and they are the only people who benefit from diversity programmes.

[Mick Harper]

The Paradox of Feminism

* Women support feminism -- it promotes the interests of women
* Women enjoy being feminists
* Women's overall happiness is dictated by their relationship with a male partner
* Women select their male partners
* Women who espouse feminism have male partners who espouse feminism
* Women select partners on the criterion of 'dominant males'
* Women are more likely to experience 'feminism in the home' if they choose non-dominant males.

[Mick Harper]

Watching a YouTube about a sleeper trip from Batum (Black Sea coast) to Tbilisi (Georgian capital) and on to Yerevan (Armenian capital) I was struck by a good idea (well, the best I've had in the last half hour). First, the essential facts:

* Armenian (but not Georgian) railways are run by the Russian state
* The branch lines of both systems are falling into desuetude
* Even the main lines might only get two trains a day

We all know what this means. The branch lines will close, the main lines will be ruinously subsidised and still scarcely worth using. It's called 'development' and we all had to go through it.

[Mick Harper]

Talking of developing countries, there's always Texas. It's got two big cities, Dallas and Fort Worth. They're so close they've got an airport called Dallas Fort Worth International. For flights to other states, I guess.

Naturally they've got a terrific double-decker trainline with all the trimmings running between the two cities. Choo-choo! Except on Sundays when it's closed. So Texans can devote themselves to their oil wells, I guess.