The Tom Sawyer Principle (Politics)

[Grant]

Meanwhile the Docklands Light Railway has been running driverless with no serious accidents for thirty-nine years.

And very soon you'll be able to hire a driverless taxi.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

I'm off to Sunny Spain (Y Viva Espana). I'm taking the Costa Brava plane (Y Viva Espana). Actually it's Cornwall and I'm going by train. Which may not scan so well but is the point of this post.

Where I live and where someone has hired a holiday home for my annual holiday are random points on the UK mainland. For Person A to get to Point B by public transport will be a fair, if anecdotal, test of the UK's system of public transport. Here goes:

1. I walk a hundred yards and get on a bus with a 5-10 minute frequency.
2. I travel (free by concession) to a railway station and get there within 10-15 minutes.
3. I walk a hundred yards from bus to train.
4. I board an hourly train (at reasonable cost) to the most distant part of the UK mainland.
5. I have a reserved seat on the train.
6. I arrive without changing trains four hours later.
7. I jump into a taxi (at a trifling cost).
8. I arrive at my destination, refreshed and eager for the fray.
9. I return seven days later with parallel insouciance.
10 I reckon that's pretty good.

[Mick Harper]

In fairness I must report the actualité.

1. There were so many people trying to get on the lifts next to the Paddington bus stop in Eastbourne Terrace I had to wait five minutes for the next one.
2. The train was on platform eleven, the furthest from the lifts.
3. My meal deal from Paddington Marks was £6.95 as opposed to £4.95 on the high street.
4. Our seats were in the furthest carriage from the barrier. My plates were killing me.
5. We got a nice table all to ourselves.
6. The trolley bloke volunteered there was a special deal when we ordered a coffee and a caffeine-free tea and threw in some chocolate digestives and a Kitkat for eight sovs all in.
7. We got as far as Liskeard in good order though the bit ten yards from the sea at Dawlish and the single track across the Tamar bridge were a bit lairy.
8. The train was halted for an hour because there was someone under a train up the line and a relief crew had to be called out from Plymouth to get traffic moving again.
9. The tannoy said we could stretch our legs and they wouldn't object if we 'had a crafty smoke or a vape on the platform'. [His words.]
10 Eventually resulting in a minor scrum for taxis at St Austell.

[Mick Harper]

News that the people who brought you the NATS air traffic fiasco were on enormous bonuses reminds us that this pernicious system has got to be stopped. Not reined in, not reformed, not sent to a judicious enquiry to weigh the options. Just stopped. Outlawed. Kaput. Never to be heard of again.

And never mind what other countries do. If it's an 'international market place' and top people won't come here, then pay whatever it takes to persuade them to. For wages. Such and such a year. No more, no less. A bit extra next year if all goes well, the sack if it doesn't. You know, in the usual way.

What incentive can there be to do your job? You can't work harder,. you can't work better. You can work longer hours except, at this level, there aren't any 'hours'. It takes as long as it takes. You're supposed to be something of a workaholic. In air traffic it might even be a bit dangerous.

What you can do though is to scheme to achieve those metrics that determine your bonus. Normally this is to deliver profits. But it is already your job to deliver profits. How exactly do you deliver more profits? Well, of course, you as an individual cannot possibility do that. Unless you're the very top man. But you've already been recruited for that by being paid top dollar).

But you collectively as a coterie of bonus-seekers certainly can. Not by working harder, not by working better, but by coming up with schemes that produce paper profits. That is by artificially inflating this, by skimping on long-term that, by shuffling around things so that profits are delivered while you are at the helm.

In fact, to earn bonuses you have to deliberately act against the public interest. There is no other way because maximising profits in the ordinary way is already what you're paid to do.