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The Importance of Sport (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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Our ongoing competition "How many footballers worth more than £30 million o.n.o. are named after your home town" has me in the lead with two after Jobe Bellingham joined Borussia Dortmund from Sunderland for a fee of £28m, potentially rising to £32m.

PS Who remembers Alan Sunderland?
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Mick Harper
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England 1 Senegal 3

I didn't mind this defeat at all. Senegal were the first African side I've seen who can play the full Eurobrand of footy. (Gawd 'elp us down the line though, soccer might get like long-distance running and we'll all lose interest.)

England are at the Arsenal-of-a-few-years-ago stage: not organised to press, nor to play their way out of a press. That's fixable with a couple of weeks in training camp for players who do it for their clubs week in, week out.

It was good watching a five foot white female French ref reading the riot act to two hulking blackamoors (one English, one Senegalese). It was also heartening to note everyone soon settled down to abusing her as if she was the full male monte.

Eze confirmed he won't be playing for Palace next season. Kane scored a goal but was otherwise gumming up the midfield. Is Tuchel the man to drop him? Let's hope so. In fact now he's done his duty by the old stagers they should all go. This new crop is even better than the old new crop.

We're well on our way to lifting the Jules Rimet. O.N.O.
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Mick Harper
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Let's Be Frank
Given the comparatively snakebelly low expectations Thomas Frank shoulders in his current role, Brentford’s manager could be forgiven for wanting to know exactly what will be expected of him in N17 Guardian

Good question so I'd better provide the answer. A manager is a 'value added man'. Not necessarily adding very much--Brentford have accepted a ten million 'transfer fee' for him which wouldn't buy more than the left leg and shin guard of a middling Premier league striker.

So what would a middling Premier league manager be expected to do for Tottenham? He would put them where they are supposed to be, behind the obscenely rich (Man City, Newcastle), behind the super-rich (Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Man Utd) and ahead of the merely rich (the rest of the Premier League).

So, Thomas, if you think you can put Spurs a smidgeon ahead of Brentford, sign on the dotted line.
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Mick Harper
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Trent Alexander-Arnold’s big day in Madrid
We were certainly impressed when Alexander-Arnold stood behind a lectern in the bowels of the Bernabéu at his unveiling as a Real Madrid player, giving a welcome address of more than 60 seconds in what appeared to be perfectly fluent Spanish ... he appears to have been taking lessons for a while which will do little to allay the suspicions of Liverpool fans that he has been plotting his move to the Spanish capital for a very long time. Guardian

I just can't see it. Attack! attack! Continental sides like Real Madrid manage only by having no-nonsense, scowly types at the back who know their place. Much as I love Trent, it is an educated right foot that is his mark of distinction, not his no-nonsense attitude to tricksy wingers. I predict the 26-year-old will

* fail as a right-back
* be tried out in midfield
* take his place in the 'ex-right back, now unclassifiable, galactico enclosure'
* (where Gareth Bale spent his declining years) before becoming
* a legend in Saudi Arabia.
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Mick Harper
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The big new Club World Championship starts today. Gianni could not have predicted that staging it in America (and ditto next year's World Cup) would coincide with Trump sending ICE to attend matches. Not to inspect tickets when people are going in, but to check their ID's as they come out.

It's a well known scientific fact that the only people interested in sarkar are illegal immigrants

PS Would you mind keeping the Chelsea fans even if their documentation is kosher? Or send them to El Salvador. Those Central American gangs need sorting.
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