The Tom Sawyer Principle (Politics)

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

When it comes to explaining why heatwaves play such havoc with railway transport, it is agreed it is mostly down to continuously-welded steel rails not being able to expand and contract. I have just heard the leading academic expert on this, qua British railways, say

[Mick Harper]

They had a rundown of the thirty-two London boroughs the other day -- you know the sort of thing, ranking them from worst to first. I didn't want to sit through it all because they always start at the bottom and work upwards so it would have taken an hour or more to find out whether it was Lewisham/one, Kensington/two or Kensington/one, Lewisham/two. It's always a fine judgement.

But I take a ghoulish pleasure in finding out who's the present pits so I sat through five minutes on the iniquities of (32) Barking & Dagenham and (31) Croydon. Then came (30) Lewisham so I moved on to something with a bit of objectivity attached.

[Mick Harper]

At this perilous juncture in our island story, the nation's senior voice, Newsnight, is investigating the Prince and the Pizza once more. After reminding us of the charge--that a sailor had it off with a young woman he had met at a party--our Moral Guardian informed us they hadn't managed to uncover any new evidence, but somehow that was significant.

We turned to one another in our parlours, tapping the side of the nose with the first finger of the right hand. "There's no smoke without fire."

[Mick Harper]

CNN ran their equivalent, a Maine Democrat -- who might represent the swing vote in the Senate after November. The dude had won the nomination despite all manner of dubious activities coming to light.

'We're sticking with him because he's better than Trump,' being the general sentiment as he received endorsement after endorsement from Democrat heavyweights. Until this week, when a woman came forward with an accusation of rape from five years ago.

[Mick Harper]

I sympathise with Prince Harry. I remember having to make a last minute trip to London with the wife and kids and phoning mum to see if she could put us up for a coupla days. 'Sorry, pet, we've got a houseful at the moment, you should have rung.'
'Who's in my old room?' I asked.
'We haven't finished fumigating it,' she replied jokingly.
At least I think she was joking.

[Mick Harper]

Would you like a well-paid job in charge of several thousand dedicated employees and which gives you an unexcelled degree of personal power over several million of your fellow citizens? No, probably not. But you do know zillions who would give their eye-teeths just for a week behind that particular desk. Well, tell 'em they can get a five-year gig, no sweat.

That's because an average of three people apply for every vacant Chief Constable's job. If that's too much competition, a lot of them have only one applicant so they'll have a 50/50 shot at those. And don't worry about not being on the in-house grapevine, the position has to be widely advertised by law.

So how have we been reduced to such a parlous state when it comes to appointments that carry such moment? As you probably guessed by that 'one applicant', everyone knows who's going to get the job, and if not someone very like the last one. And that's not like anyone you know. And it's not like any senior policeman with a bit of gumption either.

It's not quite Buggin's Turn but it's certainly Grandmother's Footsteps. The lucky candidate is always a box-ticking, admin-type who's been on all the courses but hasn't done anything for real apart from making his immediate superior's life easier. Like Jack Frost's nemesis, Horn-Rimmed Harry, but without the charisma. /more