The Importance of Sport (NEW CONCEPTS)

[Mick Harper]

One of the many reasons I dislike attending live matches is you're not allowed to smoke. The rationale for this policy is--presumably--passive smoking though nowadays there is a sound(er) reason, people's dislike of the smell of tobacco.

Neither of these objections apply to vaping. Yet the prospect of the world differentiating between the two activities is as far away as ever. It's not even up for discussion. Or rather you can try discussing it whenever you are in a social situation, but the outcome will depend entirely on your status.

Szczesny can argue till he's blue in the face but it will all depend on whether his goalkeeping abilities mean his team-mates in the dressing room will cut him some slack or not.

[Mick Harper]

We thought we'd bag Vini Jnr because Real Madrid had won nothing by having two left-sided forwards, him and Mbappe, both the best and most expensive players in the world in their position. You'd go bankrupt as well as winning nothing with such a formula. But no, Real decided to cram Vini's mouth with gold to get him to stay.

They celebrated this coup by going out and buying Yan Diomande for £120 million, the most expensive left-sided forward on the market. Can they afford to have Jose Mourinho as their manager? He's left field, that's for sure.

[Mick Harper]

The NFL goes to a lot of trouble to ensure a rough parity between their thirty-two teams. There's nothing to be done about big-market clubs, traditional powerhouses and the rest but everyone is supposed to have a fair shake of the glory tree. It just needs good old American can-do and a billionaire.

One technique is to have four-team leagues -- four of them in the NFC and four in the AFC. You'll only need the law of averages to come top sooner or later when it's one in four.

Unless you're the Cleveland Browns. They haven't managed it in thirty-six years. That's difficult to do. Especially when your billionaire is up against the billionaires of the Cincinnati Bungles, the permanently impoverished Pittsburgh Steelers and the Baltimore Ravens (who used to be the Cleveland Browns, don't ask).

What the NFL needs is an annual billionaire draft.

[Mick Harper]

Where does AE stand on the Marcus Rashford question? We (uniquely) look at the facts via our (unique) ten-point plan.

1. Four clubs have recently had him on their books: Man U, Villa, Barcelona and England.
2. They were all interested in him, they all found him wanting.
3. What have the four got in common?
4. They are 'top clubs'.
5. Therefore we know Marcus Rashford should not be at a top club.
6. But he must be close enough to warrant a place in a near-top club.
7. Therefore he should be agitating for a move to, say, Leeds.
8. His wages are too high for the likes of Leeds.
9. But that will be reflected in the transfer fee.
10 It won't happen because Marcus will never accept (5).

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

Name recognition is always vital in US elections where they have primaries, so 'vote for the red geezer' or 'support the blue one' is not sufficient, as it is in more mature democracies such as our own.

Why your name is recognised is less important. Michele Tafoya is ahead in the senatorial Republican primary in Minnesota because she was NBC's touchline reporter for their NFL games. It is considered excellent training for the US Senate to be able to say, "How's it going, coach, any changes for the third quarter?" "Not really, Michele, more of the same should do it."

[Mick Harper]

I just realised they don't use the term 'touchline' in American football, it is the sideline. You can hardly call them 'sideline reporters' so they have to use the, to my mind, clumsier 'pitchside reporter' with its connotations of 'getting pitched'. Which, interestingly, is a synonym for 'being sidelined'.

I may have to ring Garth Crooks to get his views. Or as we punsters say, 'get in touch with him'.

[Wile E. Coyote]

It is pretty bonkers, the Eagles have lost their star WR1, (wide receiver) "AJ" to the Patriots. That sounds big, but they have cleverly have brought in the guys cousin, "Hollywood" who has exactly the same surname, Brown. This is what the Yanks, call trickeration ie you lose the best receiver in the NFL but sign a WR3, with the same name, give him shirt 0, and hope the fans dont notice.

This trickery might have worked, but the plan has a flaw. Last year, you all remember, Philly had the worst offence in the NFL mainly because QB Jalen Hurts refused to throw the ball forwards, to the conferences best WR, "AJ", just in case it was intercepted. All was fine but not dandy. Jalen had no yards passing, no interceptions and "AJ" sulked off. Now if Philly had kept to the same tactics of not throwing it down the field, the fans would never notice their star AJ had gone.

What do they do instead ? Head Coach Sirianni, sacks the Offensive coordinator, (OC) and opts for a team paradigm shift. The Birds are going to "Fly baby Fly", they intend to pass the ball ! Now Hollwood hasnt made it with Baltimore, Arizona, or Kansas, however, and here is the extra clever clever bit, the newly appointed OC, Sean Mannion, dosnt plan to let Jalen throw it any old way......no Sean is a disciple of the famed McVay/Shanahan coaching tree.

Confused are you? Wiley isnt. Let me explain.

It means that rather than Jalen firing it it out to Brown straight away, he is going to fake a run, do a somersault, three press ups, a bit of twerking, and draw a distracted Seattle defence forward. Whilst Jalen twerks, Hollywood slyly jogs into enemy space unnoticed. Jalen turns, looks up field , and gracefully lobs it over the Seattle defence, Hollwood Brown, now waits on the opposition 5 yard line...

"Its up"
"Its over"
"He only needs to catch it, its a certain TD"

"I really thought he should have caught that"

"Yes but beautifully designed play, great twerking from Hurts".....

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]